i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
