when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize