i would punch a child for taco bell
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
My vagina just clenched in fear
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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