Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
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