that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
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I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
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I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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