I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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