I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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