Got a toothbrush?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
