Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
