I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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