Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
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