Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
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