So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
