Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
