we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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