Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
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