this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
