I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
