At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
