don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
