Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Randomize
