At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
