I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
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The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
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mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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