Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I just found puke in my bra..
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
