Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
