evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
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