While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
