have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
