Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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