So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize
