The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
wow bdsm is so cute
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
He did a backflip because drugs
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
