I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
