i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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