Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.

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(734): View more from Michigan

Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...

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(618): View more from Illinois

Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.

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Locals Wish Tourists Would Stop Doing These 27 Things
Read it at the TFLN blog
(678): View more from Georgia

I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!

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(661): View more from California

Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room

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(402): View more from Nebraska

I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.

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(801): View more from Utah

What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook

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