this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.