This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
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Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
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I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible