so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised