Texts From Last Night

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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends

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  (507): Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends http://tfl.nu/oo5w
  Replies (12) Good night (1235) Bad night (1704)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything

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  (618): i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything http://tfl.nu/e4ud
  Replies (8) Good night (3805) Bad night (1214)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.

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  (267): just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go. http://tfl.nu/i3o2
  Replies (4) Good night (1069) Bad night (2572)
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  (620): View more from Kansas

  You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.

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  (620): You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on. http://tfl.nu/djzq
  Replies (10) Good night (3786) Bad night (991)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona

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  (503): still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona http://tfl.nu/3dwf
  Replies (8) Good night (1295) Bad night (2885)
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  (530): View more from California

  She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential

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  (530): She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential http://tfl.nu/2o4m
  Replies (5) Good night (3413) Bad night (689)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.

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  (919): I have a cut on my head from a tambourine. http://tfl.nu/wa5x
  Replies (3) Good night (1531) Bad night (601)
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  (254): View more from Texas

  By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.

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  (254): By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook. http://tfl.nu/9v3n
  Replies (8) Good night (2076) Bad night (645)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters

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  (918): please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters http://tfl.nu/gu1l
  Replies (8) Good night (1776) Bad night (772)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr

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  (507): Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr http://tfl.nu/hq3c
  Replies (3) Good night (1154) Bad night (638)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch

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  (425): The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch http://tfl.nu/197l
  Replies (7) Good night (552) Bad night (305)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow

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  (612): I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow http://tfl.nu/y8rx
  Replies (2) Good night (571) Bad night (566)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.

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  (281): This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse. http://tfl.nu/ekrm
  Replies (8) Good night (413) Bad night (827)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.

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  (843): After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT. http://tfl.nu/qpcc
  Replies (4) Good night (1160) Bad night (297)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.

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  (519): You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh. http://tfl.nu/8d59
  Replies (2) Good night (502) Bad night (169)

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