This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Randomize
