Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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