dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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