Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
