its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
false alarm. still invincible.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
