I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I think my moral compass just broke
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
