Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
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I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence