My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
