Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
