still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
