everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
