Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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