I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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