If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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