She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
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He is like the real live version of the state fair..
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
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Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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