I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
vagina is talking i cant
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
