3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
