We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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