At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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