And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
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I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?