I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
