I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
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just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
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I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
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