Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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