Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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